party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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