TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
