Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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