I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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