it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
