Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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