Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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