just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
