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I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize