garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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