She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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