What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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