If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize