just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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