What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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