I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
