Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
