So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
