just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize