Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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