At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize