there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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