you would pick up someone in the library
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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