i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize