I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
