Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When are your genitals available?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
