She's like a pop up book from hell.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
