I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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