The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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