MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
