Little spoons don't ask big questions
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
