It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish I only lived at night.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
