I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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