he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize