DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
