I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
