id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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