Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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