Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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