Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
