I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize