he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
