he thought i was a dude.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
