Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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