I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
