I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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