We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
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I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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