when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
