TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
