his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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