bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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