so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize