I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize