You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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