Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
