So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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