So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
