Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
