miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
